Virginia Divorce: Living Separately in the Same House

In Virginia, spouses who wish to file for divorce are often required to prove that they have lived separate and apart for a period of time–usually 1 year, though it may be 6 months (if the parties have no children and executed a separation agreement).

Often, “separate and apart” means separate residences. But not always. Under Virginia law, spouses can live separately under the same roof.

In Bchara v. Bchara (2002), the parties were deemed to have been living separate and apart despite residing in the same home. They stopped attending church together; moved their belongings into separate rooms; slept in separate rooms; ceased intimacy; Wife stopped depositing funds into the joint bank account; and a friend of Wife’s visited the home regularly, and was able to corroborate the circumstances. While the Court’s decision was based on these unique factual circumstances, the decision provides some good guideposts to follow.

Tips for Residing Together During Separation

• Communication – Tell your spouse that you are intending to be separate, and that your intention is permanent.
• Finances – Open separate bank accounts and limit the commingling of funds when possible; avoid paying bills out of a joint account.
• Inside the Home – Sleep in separate bedrooms; do not engage in physical intimacy; do not cook for each other or clean for each other.
• Outside the Home – Avoid going places together; church/vacations/parties/dinners/holidays should not be attended together; do not shop for each other; remove your wedding ring and do not hold yourselves out as being a couple to others.
• Build Corroborating Evidence – Tell your friends and family that you are separated, and advise them of the steps you are taking to remain separated; invite them to your home frequently so that they can observe you and your spouse living in different rooms and not sharing in any activities.

Please note that following the above listed tips will not guarantee a determination that you are living separate and apart. As noted above, every case is unique.

If you have questions about living separately in the same home with your spouse, please contact an experienced Virginia divorce and family law attorney at BoykoNapier. We can be reached by phone at (804) 658-3418, or by email.

*This post is not intended to offer specific legal advice.