Parenting Archives - BoykoNapier, PLLC

Virginia Child Custody Tip: The Importance of Co-parenting

May 5, 2016 By Marc Leave a Comment

co-parenting chairs — Courtesy of Richard Walker via flickr.com
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Co-parenting is no easy task, especially when your relationship with the other parent has ended and you are living in different homes. Nevertheless, it is very important that you dedicate time and energy towards building good co-parenting skills.

Life will be a lot brighter and less stressful (for you and your child) if you and the other parent can have positive, productive communication and make decisions effectively. This post is designed to provide a few tips for co-parenting from a Virginia family law attorney’s prospective. This information is not intended as legal advice, as every co-parenting relationship is unique. Should you have specific questions regarding your custody or visitation case, be sure to speak with an experienced divorce or family law attorney.

Focus on Your Child.
- Be sure to remember that co-parenting is all about your child. Your child’s best interest should be the focus.
- While it is easier said than done, try not to let emotion get in the way, whatever your personal feelings about the other parent may be.
Set Co-parenting Boundaries (if necessary).
- If you and the other parent are frequently engaged in conflict when you interact, use methods that are less-prone to produce controversy and are more productive.
- For example, if phone calls or in-person discussions often lead to arguments and rarely lead to solutions, consider written correspondence (such as email or text) as a primary method of communication.
Be Responsive and Informative.
- One of the best ways to maintain respect in your co-parenting relationship is to be responsive and informative.
- Do your best to answer calls and respond to emails. Giving and receiving information about your child should be a priority, not a burden.
Avoid Negativity to Avoid Conflict.
- The Golden Rule is important in all aspects of life, but particularly in co-parenting. Complaints, blame, and unwarranted criticism will often degrade your relationship with the other parent and negatively impact your ability to communicate effectively.
- Try and be positive when communicating about your child. If you have a grievance with the other parent, consider offering practical solutions to prevent the issue from resurfacing in the future.
Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right.
- Just because the parent of your child is not co-parenting effectively (i.e. they are non-responsive, negative, or constantly sparking controversy) doesn’t mean that you should do the same.
- Which parent communicates the best is often an important factor for a Judge who is considering child custody or visitation issues. Take a look at our Child Custody and Visitation Factors blog post and Virginia Code 20-124.3 to learn more about all of the Virginia child custody and visitation factors (a.k.a. the best interests factors).

We hope these tips will help you in your co-parenting relationship. If you find that your co-parenting relationship is an ongoing struggle, it may be wise to consider speaking with an experienced co-parenting counselor.

If you have specific questions about your Virginia child custody or visitation case, feel free to contact us. The experienced lawyers at BoykoNapier handle divorce and family law matters through Central Virginia, including Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico, Hanover and the surrounding localities. Contact BoykoNapier at (804) 658-3418, or via email.

Halloween Safety Tips from BoykoNapier

October 31, 2014 By Marc Leave a Comment

Kids in costume — Courtesy of liz west via flickr.com
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Happy Halloween everyone! We hope you have a truly spooktacular evening. Here are a few safety tips to keep in mind:

Travel in Groups

Trick-or-treating alone is dangerous. Plus, hanging out with your friends and family is more fun!

Travel with Adults

It is important to make sure your children are properly supervised tonight.

Be Careful on the Roads

It is important to be extra cautious behind the wheel tonight. There will lots of little kids running around, perhaps not paying attention to the traffic on the roads.

Don’t Drink and Drive

This rule is of course applicable to each and every night of the year. However, Halloween is a particularly dangerous night to drink and drive due to the large number of pedestrians in the roadway.

Don’t Eat it All

Save some candy. If you have too much, you can always bring some by our office!

Here are some additional points from the Chesterfield County Police Department.

HAVE FUN and BE SAFE!

*The attorneys at BoykoNapier handle divorce, family law and criminal defense matters throughout Central Virginia, including Richmond, Henrico, Chesterfield, Hanover and the surrounding localities. If you or a loved one are in need of legal advice, give BoykoNapier a call today at (804) 658-3418, or contact us online.

Child Custody and Visitation – Best Interest Factors

September 6, 2013 By Marc Leave a Comment

Parents and Child — Courtesy of Bill Selak via flickr.com

If you are a parent who is going through a child custody and/or visitation dispute in Virginia, it would be wise to review the statutory factors that the Judge must consider in making his or her decision. Commonly referred to as the “Best Interest Factors”, Virginia Code Section 20-124.3 is designed to help Judges make a decision that is in the best interest of the minor child who is the subject of the litigation.

The Best Interest Factors are fairly self-explanatory and most come as no surprise—relationship between parent and child, physical and mental condition of the parties, history of family abuse, etc. However, it is helpful to review the factors carefully and present evidence on each factor so that the Judge is fully aware of how that factor applies to you as a parent.

Which custody and visitation factors are the most important?

We get asked this question a lot and the simple answer is: ALL OF THEM. The Virginia Code does not present these factors with any sort of hierarchy. However, there are some factors that tend to play a larger role in certain cases.

Family Abuse Cases (factor 9):

Obviously, in cases where there is a history of family abuse, the Judge is likely to pay close attention to the details surrounding the abuse. Abuse that is proven can often make a tremendous impact on the outcome of the custody/visitation issue.

Serious Physical and/or Mental Illness (factors 1 and 2):

In cases involving a parent or child with a serious physical/mental illness, the circumstances surrounding the illness will often weigh heavily on a Judge for a variety of reasons—i.e. a child with a severe illness needs more attention than an average child; a parent with a severe illness may be unable to adequately care for their child.

Parenting Role (factor 5):

“The role that each parent has played and will play in the future, in the upbringing and care of the child”.
Courts tend to award a lot of credit to the parent who has served as the primary care provider and primary custodian for the child. We believe this is because it is that parent who usually has the strongest grasp of the child’s needs (which intertwines with factor 4). Further, the ability of the parents to serve the child’s needs in the future is particularly important.

Co-Parenting Ability (factor 6):

“The propensity of each parent to actively support the child’s contact and relationship with the other parent, including whether a parent has unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation with the child”.
As you can imagine, it is very common for the Court to hear evidence that one parent has unreasonably denied the other with access to and visitation with the child. In fact, this is one of the most common reasons that parents end up in custody and visitation disputes—an inability to agree on how they should share the time with their child. Courts tend to favor parents who can demonstrate an ability to communicate effectively with the other parent and, more importantly, foster that parent’s relationship with the child.

To sum things up, it is extremely important for you to review all of the statutory factors and consider how they will apply in your case. A skilled family law attorney will be of great assistance in this regard.

If you are in need of a n experienced and passionate Virginia custody and visitation attorney, call an attorney at BoykoNapier, PLLC at (804) 658-3418, or contact us via email.

Adoptions: A Glance at the Different Types and Some Common Concerns

May 9, 2013 By Marc Leave a Comment

Parents holding newborn — Courtesy of VaMedia via flickr.com

Choosing the route of adoption can be a very exciting, yet scary time for new parents. While there are many important details that you should familiarize yourself with if you are considering adoption, this post provides a quick overview—to make you aware of the types of adoptions and to address a few common concerns.

The First Step: Choosing the type of adoption that is applicable to you.

Step-Parent Adoption: A step-parent adoption occurs when the adoptive parent is the spouse of the child’s biological mother or father. This adoption normally does not require a home study.
Parental Placement Adoption: This type of adoption occurs when a birth parent directly places their child with you. There is no agency involved.
Agency Adoption: This type of adoption occurs when a family chooses to use an agency to find a child. The agency helps the family with the adoption process and handles a lot of the common hurdles that adoptive families face.
Close Relative Adoption: This type of adoption occurs when the child’s grandparent, great-grandparent, adult nephew or niece, adult brother or sister, adult uncle or aunt, or adult great uncle or great aunt decide to adopt a child.
International Adoption: This occurs when a family decides to adopt a child from outside the United States of America. This is usually done through an agency.
Adult Adoption: This occurs when there is an adoption of someone over the age of 18.
Special Needs Adoption: This adoption occurs when a family decides to adopt a child with special needs. There are assistance programs in place from the government to assist families who otherwise may be unable to adopt a child due to the expense involved.

How Long Will My Adoption Take?

Again, it depends on the type of adoption and the cooperation of the birth parent(s) (if applicable). While the biggest factor is the type of adoption, some additional variables include:

Whether or not a home study is required
The locality where your adoption case is filed—certain courts are more expeditious than others
Any difficulty in locating and/or obtaining consent from birth parents

Understand the Expenses Involved in an Adoption.

In addition to the cost of being a parent and raising a child, the process of adopting also has its expense. The expenses involved in an adoption vary dramatically, depending on the type of adoption you are pursuing, the cooperation of the birth parent(s) (if applicable), but usually include agency fees, legal fees and court fees.

What if I Cannot Find the Birth Father?

There are many avenues to finding the birth father. Virginia has a Putative Father Registry. You can also have a potential birth father served at his last known address. You can also have a birth father served by publication. Contact your adoption attorney to help you with your search.

Do I need an Attorney?

Good question! You don’t necessarily need an attorney. However, it is highly recommended.
An attorney can help you in many ways. They will file the correct paperwork with the court to prevent unnecessary delays, and will make sure you have followed all steps and procedures required as adoptive parents. Attorneys will draft all paperwork necessary for the adoption—as new parents, your focus should be on your child, not on the paperwork involved in adopting your child.

About us:

At BoykoNapier, our attorneys are experienced in handling simple and complex adoptions. We represent clients throughout Central Virginia, including Richmond, Henrico, Chesterfield and Hanover. If you are in the process of adopting, or are simply contemplating the possibility, call us at (804) 658-3418 or contact us via email.

Call: 804-658-3418